Building audience trust

The world is crying out for people they can trust,

for promises to keep them safe
alive
happy
satisfied

but then we always have, haven’t we?

You, me, our audiences.

Any time we interact,

our first instinct is to keep safe – “Can I trust you?”

It’s automatic.

When it comes to a speaker and an audience, for the audience, it’s more likely

“Is this worth my time?”

Because we also live in a world of short attention spans, of commitments and busy ness.

And in other situations they may also be asking

“Is this worth my money?”

So speakers, you, me, all of us have to build that trust that we are, in fact, worth that time/money.

I have for you 3 ways we can build that trust –

and in ways that might not be the norm, or what you have seen done;

3 ways you can do it your way – with integrity and the power of being and feeling within your values.

1.  Credentials  +  Vulnerability

It is fairly standard practice to list your credentials as a speaker – degrees, courses, successes, achievements.

And with certain audiences and certain cultures that is necessary.

I am not impressed by degrees, courses, successes, achievements.

For me and my clients, I prefer to see the vulnerability, learn how you got there, woven into the credentials/authority process.

It shows you have nothing to hide, if you can share certain failures, faults and foibles from which you have achieved success.

It also allows your audience to see the possibility for themselves in your growth and achievements

with so much more deep resonance and power, than simply being impressed.

2.  Conviction + Vulnerability

Yes, vulnerability again, this time in a different context.

We live in a world that lauds conviction and confidence.   It makes someone so much easier to believe in, that they will keep us safe
alive
happy
satisfied,

especially in the face of fear (which oftentimes they then have to generate!)

However if, instead of trumped up (no that’s not a pun – the word trump had been around for a long time!) conviction and confidence

we can bring the strength to be vulnerable, we build a much higher level of trust, through that same resonance and power.

When we weave in our personal passion instead of hollow conviction, our success stories, and our personal belief in our ideas, instead of an armour of confidence, we create power without the need for fear, and without the need for fake conviction.

So many times I have been let down by people promising they can do something and then letting me and the team down when they cannot.

Bring me your passion.  Bring me the authentic stories for proof and I will work with you.

Allow me to see your mistakes and genuine commitment to fixing them, and I will work with you.

Our audiences are the same.  This is far more powerful and trustworthy (and relaxing!) than fake promises delivered with confidence and conviction.

3.  Care + Value

Speakers can put on an armour to give themselves confidence and strength – an armour of credentials, confidence, false energy.

Or they can meet the needs of an audience that wants to know that they care – about them, about each individual there.  We all want to know if there is anything in this presentation for me that will make it worth my time and/or my money.

So let’s do that, as speakers. Let them know that we do have something for them that will be of value, useful, that will meet their needs, that we care.

It may be that you don’t FEEL that you care.  You have to give this speech to build things for yourself –  money, esteem, followers. Sure you can say the words, but they really don’t come from genuine feelings.

If so, in rehearsals for your presentation, use the words that say you care, that this is a win-win for you and for them.  Add the gestures, the body language, the facial expressions and slowly the brain will start releasing dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin, and you will feel good about helping, serving, creating a win for someone else.

And

an added extra –

in that feeling, then, is the drive to deliver value; an idea, a product or service that will help, serve, create a win – value that you can communicate to build trust.

It really is possible to stick to your own integrity and humility, even if it means you will zig when others zag!

And in the process you develop

trust in yourself

that you will have confidence, a valuable idea and a way to serve not only yourself but others as well.

Quite a bonus!!

Some of us are natural speakers at work.

Some of us are not.

For some of us it feels natural to speak up, chat on any subject, create a personal brand and credibility in our work place.

For some of us it is a challenge that we would rather not face.

It’s partly natural skill, partly personality and for some it is training and practice.

For the rest of us, it means, fear, challenge and avoiding public speaking at all costs.

Oftentimes, public speaking is seen as formally standing up before a crowd and deivering a speech. But the skills and techniques can be applied to group conversations at the lunch table, explaining a new project to a team, reporting in the board room, pitching for funds or support, delivering a town hall, or conducting a weekly meeting.

They all require that same ability, confidence and commitment that the formal speech to an audience requires.

I had developed competency in public speaking before I began my career, so I was very grateful for the skill, and sometimes it was useful in the most unexpected places.

It was no problem for me to present our department/my department’s position at staff meetings, and to pitch for its consideration.

It was no problem for me to present to groups on behalf of the organisation.

But then I had already been through the challenges of public speaking nerves, already been through the stage fright and, already been through,at times, feeling almost paralysed facing a formal presentation.

I had been through the humiliating challenge of finding, well into a presentation, that my material was not what that audience needed.  Fortunately they were forgiving and I was flexible enough to turn the presentation around and be really useful, but it was a hit to my confidence and I learned from it, and many other situations like it..

I had studied, taught and mentored in speech structure, body language and stage presence from school days.

So it gave me the confidence to stand and speak, use powerpoint and flip charts (and on occasion felt boards!!).  And I was grateful for the skills and practice that I had.

It didn’t become quite so evident to me, just how much I appreciated having that behind me, though, until I had my first job interview after having children.  I went back to work in my own field, highly qualified, and yet I was incredibly nervous.  I hadn’t been for a job interview for decades, had no experience in them.  I was given questions ahead of time and given 8 minutes to prepare.  Fighting to get some sort of clarity and confidence, I suddenly thought of the public speaking basics – use the simple structure.  Make your points with support.  Remember the confident, relaxed body language, that works even when you are really nervous, and the grounding that brings confidence.

And it was the same when having reviews with my line managers and the CEO – prepare as much as possible, be confident in my knowledge and experience, make points with supports and use body language and grounding for calm confidence.

I cannot say it cured my nervousness altogether but it worked.  I got the job!!

And that’s what I want to say to you.  Once you have those skills, they take you to communication scenarios that you may have had no idea would use the same skills, but where you can excel, sharing your talent and experience.

If you have been reading this with increasing disquiet and disgust because the very thought of public speaking is beyond the pale, then here are 5 ways you can start building the skills you can use to support your success at work, and the growth of your career.

Forget the term “public speaking‘.  It has too many associations and connections with a formal, judged, nerve-wracking performance.

Instead think of the basics of the outcome you want and what you bring to the communication.

You have talents, enthusiasms, opinions, skills and contributions you have made and can make in the future.

You have the need, the ambition to build your career.

Bring all of those into the equation and it becomes just a task to be done, a way of thinking.

Practise giving your opinion.  It doesn’t have to be out loud, but if you can find an audience – a friend, a family, your cat – then give them your opinion on all sorts of weird and unexpected subjects.

Take the opposite view to your own.  Argue for something absolutely ridiculous.  Support that opinion with as many lies or facts as you can think of.

You will find your voice.

You will find that actually pleading a case for something where you actually are familiar with the subject matter,

at work, know the possible opinions of your audience, and what the current climate of opinion is, is relatively easy

after you have persuaded your cat or dog that we need to send a llama into outer space, or that burning the local soccer goal posts is useful for the community.

Practise listening and reading body language,

especially of those you may find challenging or whom you don’t like,

and thinking what it says about them – their opinions, needs, triggers –

and that they are normal human beings.

Practice and notice when you are using confident communication and what it feels like where it doesn’t matter so much –

dealing with a shop-keeper or check-out person,

phoning an institution to organise a refund or upgrade,

just chatting at work.

Take that feeling with you into the speaking or communication that has more of a challenge and where the outcomes matter.

Prepare as much as possible, for structured, concise, confident, and especially authentic presentations.

Be prepared to tell stories.  They are powerful.

And if PowerPoint is a must, keep the text simple, and prepare as much as possible for use of the stage.

Remember always – Fumbles are not Failures.

Keep the authenticity, the confidence and the connection and they will be soon forgotten if they were noticed at all.

 

Not only will it mean you can briefly tell a boss about the work you do without feeling egotistical and awkward,

not only will it mean you can present to a group of colleagues or to an interview panel.

not only will it mean you can speak at a conference, train the new recruits, or accept an award.

 

You will also have the skills to implement the communication necessary to move a project to success.

You will also have the skills to confidently take part in videoconferencing.

But most importantly

you will build personal confidence and assertiveness that spills over into all areas of your life.

Take on small projects to start with, if possible,

and say “yes” to the opportunities.

Contact me if you have an opportunity you need some help with, or sign up for the free training on how to build great public speaking.

And enjoy the results.

 

 

It has always been a challenge to maintain the view that the customer is always right – not just in speaking, but in business especially.  It can try the most patient and accommodating business owner or customer service professional.

But if we can achieve it, maintain that view, go into our speaking with that view, then everything will fall into place so much more easily.

Validating your audience in any communication is guaranteed to build trust and engagement.

One of the basic premises of storytelling is that you need to meet the audience where they are.

And yes of course our audiences have the right to their objections to our propositions.  The sooner we address those objections the sooner we can hope to succeed in putting forward our visions for them.

The structure of your presentation falls into place.

If you believe that your audience is always right, that they deserve the respect that that entails, then you will be happy to prepare all that you can to gain the understanding you need of what your audience feels, thinks, knows is right.

You will build confidence and calm because you are not trying to manipulate, you are giving respect and service.

And you will have laid the groundwork for success for yourself and for your customer/audience.

The sooner speakers understand this, that public speaking is not a manipulation, not a performance to be judged, not all about themselves, the better the standard of speaking will be.  No, we may not have great “orators”, but we will have more successful public speakers, not afraid to be authentic and of service, and more audiences prepared to come back for more.

 

 

 

 

 

One of the secrets of great speakers is their use of time.

They know that if they have been given a time limit for their speech or presentation, that they will stick to that.

Why?

There are four very good reasons for us all to do the same, if we want to be successful.

 

Pivotal Pubic Speaking off the cuff

Sticking to time forces you to  be very clear in your message – no waffling, no beating around the bush.  And that sort of focus really adds power to your message.  If you want an outcome – for your audience to do, be or think something as a result of your presentation, make that message very, very clear.

Someone may have been hired you to speak – an event organiser, the program co-ordinator for an organisation.  If you want to be re-hired, you need to keep that organiser confident that you can deliver the goods and make their job easier.  If they have to step in to haul you off the stage, or if their whole schedule is upset because you spoke too long, then – unless your content went through the roof in terms of outcomes -they will not be terribly enthusiastic about re-hiring you or recommending you to their colleagues.

Really this is just common courtesy, not just a selfish, calculated piece of behaviour.  You, me, us, extending courtesy, thinking of how we impact other people.  It should be part of our value system, deeper and stronger than any need to hustle or sell or manipulate.  It feels right.  And of course, how we treat people will be part of your brand, part of the impact you make, and part of the way you will be remembered, because the behaviour indicates the deeper values.  We are, after all, creating relationships which will bring in returns in multiples, far easier than trying to get business or results from every single stand-alone speaking gig.

Your audiences will form an opinion of  you as well.  As Stephen Keague said,  ‘No audience ever complained about a presentation or speech being too short‘, but they will complain if you speak for too long.

Cuban President Fidel Castro is known for having delivered the longest continuous speech ever given in the General Assembly of the United Nations.  Delivered in September 1960, it lasted for 4 hours and 29 minutes.  He also spoke in a New York church, at a gathering of supporters, people who supported Cuba and its policies and having a closer relationship with the United States.  He spoke for 4 hours and 16 minutes.  After three hours, and the presentation of statistics from wads of paper, some of his audience had fallen asleep in the pews.  Others walked out exhausted, leaving the church half full by the end of his speech.  And these were enthusiastic supporters!

None of us wants the audience falling asleep like that, or walking out; after all what we want (and need) is their attention.  Because something else that all speakers want (and need) from their audiences is to be remembered, to be reiterated around the water cooler the next day, quoted in memories of the event, and requested for the next conference or training day.  To be remembered.

At Gettysburg in 1863, Edward Everett delivered a 13,607 word speech, that clocked in at 2 hours. The world has forgotten those 13,607 words, but not the three-minute address given by  President Abraham Lincoln – famed and certainly not forgotten.

The value is not in how much you say but in what you say – your message.

And I know from experience that when you have not prepared properly, not honed your message to fit the time allowed, you find yourself racing through, speaking quickly just to fit it all in.  University professors might have wanted a display of all the knowledge I had, but my audiences just want what is relevant to them and what they need to learn or believe or use.   The curse of T.M.I.  (Too Much Information) is very real.  And if it results in a speedy delivery, then you will have lost the advantage of being able to add power to your words with a variety or pace, and the use of pause.  It can also result in having no flexibility, no space to answer unexpected question, deal with interruptions or change with changing time slots.  Knowing exactly the message and main points allows for all of those things.

It may be useful to you to time your speech.  Practise it beforehand and time it.  Or if you write it out beforehand,  (I’m not sure why you would do that, but there may be good reason), you can use the fact that people tend to speak at 110 to 140 words per minute.  That will allow you to work out how long the speech will take.  Of course if you speak faster or slower than that, you will need to adjust.  But be prepared enough to know how much time you have and how much time you will take.   Winston Churchill said, “I’m going to make a long speech because I’ve not had the time to prepare a short one” and undoubtedly that was not to his advantage.  Preparation counts!

I couldn’t resist reminding you of another famous quote of Winston Churchill’s  “A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt, long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”

So while it may seem a cool, confident thing to be relaxed about the time you take, it’s better to build the habit of being aware of time and using it well.  You create a focussed powerful message, you increase the chances of building favourable outcomes for your event coordinator and audience and you are free to speak with flexibility and engaging, memorable power.  Watch the clock and you will have added another success tool to your speaking tool kit, and be a speaker who is remembered and rehired.

 

 

“People will forget what you say, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” (Maya Angelou)

Truer words in speaking have never been said.

 

 

 

 

My wife drives a Lexus. I’m not saying that to brag, but to prove a point. When we were car shopping, we saw cheaper vehicles that perform almost just as well as the Lexus, had bells & whistles. We even saw some sleek exteriors as well. But we still settled on the Lexus.

And honestly, we bought it for the “L”. The little “L” piece of metal that adorns the trunk and centre of the steering wheel.

Why? Because we buy with emotion and justify with logic.

Sure we saw more reasonably priced cars. But Lexus equals a bit more luxury, a bit more status, and a bit more class than the other cars we saw. And that’s why we bought it. But we tell people, “we got a good deal”, or “it drives better than the other cars” or some other reason that, although it’s probably true, it’s not why we bought the car.

My wife loves the car because of how it makes her FEEL. She loves sitting in the heated leather seats. She loves the push button start and the low hum of the engine. She loves cruising on the highway and feeling the smooth power of the vehicle.

Emotion is why we buy.
Emotion is also why we listen.

When you speak, you had better evoke some emotion out of your audience. Otherwise you WILL be forgotten after your speech is over. Maybe even before.

Make your audience do one of three things, and they will remember you long after you have finished speaking. Make them do all 3, and you will be far ahead of most speakers.

1) Make them LAUGH

I start with this one due to personal reasons. I love giving inspirational speeches. I literally get goosebumps when I get to the main message within my speech. I remember going to a conference and a speaker taught a breakout session on how to speak. He said that he gave motivational speeches, and that humor “wasn’t his thing”. I remember nodding thinking, “Yup! That’s me! I’m a motivational guy, not a funny guy.”  I couldn’t have been more misguided. The truth is this – If eyes are the window to the soul, laughter is the gateway. Comedian Steve Harvey once said that his mentor Bill Cosby told him that when you get people to laugh, you have their undivided attention. And when you have someone’s undivided attention, you have the ability to affect them and make a positive impact on their lives. Once I learned that, I made it a point to uncover and add humor EVERY time I speak, regardless of topic. If you want to impact your audience,add excitement to every speech, and have audiences asking to hear more of you, you should do the same.

2) Make them THINK

When you speak, as Speaker Susan Lamb-Robinson says, you need to “Get under the skin, and get into the heart”. Sometimes you have to make people think about the pain they will have if they don’t follow the message that you are suggesting. Sometimes people won’t move until the pain of standing still hurts badly enough. So don’t be afraid to make your audience think. The emotion of Fear resulting from Inaction, can often be as powerful as the emotion of Happiness resulting from taking action. Make them Think, make them Feel, and they will Remember and Act.

3) Make them REFLECT

Reflection is an extension of thinking. When you find ways to make your audience not only think, but to reflect on their OWN reality or events from their past, then you’ve really got something! When people think about your story, you relate to them. But when they additionally REFLECT on their own stories in addition to yours, then you’ve moved them. They will be listening to you, while feeling the emotions related to their own lives. And that is a VERY powerful effect to have on someone. Get them to reflect, and they will be waiting for YOU to tell them what to do next.

People may forget what you say, but they will NEVER forget how you made them feel. And if you make them feel, they will also remember the most important things that you say.

This is a guest post from Kwesi Millington.

Kwesi is a public speaking, storytelling & confidence coach, teaching you to speak, share, serve and live with greater confidence. Check out his website at www.CommunicateToCreate.com and do watch his periscopes. He shares some very practical tips on speaking and story.

Who cares?

Do you?

Does your audience?

who_cares

What about your speaking success? Do you care about that?

If you care about being successful, you are going to have to consider your audience. Success is all about them.

Consider your audience if you want to be successful.

Show them you care.

They have to feel that you have their best interests in mind, not just your own agenda.

While you are speaking to them, it has to be apparent that you care about them and what they want and need.

Otherwise you lose their trust, and the chance to entertain, inspire, persuade, compel.

…………………

Do you care that what you say aligns with your values and your truth …

about speaking with integrity?

Because if you aren’t in alignment with what you are communicating, saying, you will suffer, feel strange, removed, uncomfortable. You will have to fight it.

I spent years speaking successfully in competition, and yet feeling just that way, as though what I was doing was outside my reality somehow. It’s only since I stopped competing and started helping/inspiring/teaching with my speaking that I have realised the disconnect – I was speaking to win (success). Certainly the content was from within my own values and what I wanted to communicate, but there was always the dual interest, my audience and my success – and so the interest was divided between audience and success instead of focused on that audience.

It is sooooo much easier to show you care – genuinely.

And if you don’t, then I can only say find a way that you do, and use that as a frame for all that you present.

Use your speaking skills to create the connection with your audience and engage them. Use stories and humour. Interact with them. Call back to incidents or people they know. You have to have engagement, anyway, in order to begin the process of persuasion. And it will make it easier for you to feel in flow and connected …

and caring!

How can we learn to become public speakers?

How do we learn public speaking?

Formal education will make a living; self-education will make you a fortune.

Formal education will make a living; self-education will make you a fortune.

Formal education.

I have post graduate qualifications. Most of the time that I was studying I had no idea what good it would do me,

and at times I had no idea what I would do with it.

And those two things can be very different!!

That was my formal education.

In my employment I was very grateful for those qualifications because they were recognised wherever I went and I was given employment and wages commensurate with their level.

They made me a living and a good one at that!

Self-education.

A lifelong pursuit, self-education! The older I get, the more intense it becomes. Perhaps I am now cramming!!

We learn by doing.

We learn to avoid pain.

We learn to pursue dreams and goals.

We learn to survive, sometimes.

We learn by research.

We learn by modelling.

We learn through our connection with other people.

And while that comes through formal education, it continues and is far more intense through self-education.

I suspect that in Jim Rohn’s time, there was also very little formal education in things like resilience, risk-taking, entrepreneurship, goal-setting.

I suspect also that in his time, formal education was undertaken under compulsion and the subjects studied, like mine, seemingly having very little correlation with the individual’s needs or innate abilities.

We learned a trade or a profession through formal education.

We learned to take that trade or profession out into the world through self education.

And the same can be said of public speaking.

We learn by doing.

We learn to avoid pain.

We learn to pursue dreams and goals.

We learn to survive, sometimes.

We learn by research.

We learn by modelling.

We learn through our connection with other people.

And while that comes through formal education, it continues and is far more intense through self-education.

We fit in. We fit in with society, with our families, with our peers.

From a very young age, and from way back in the mists of history, we have been shepherded by our families, our tribe, our peers into conforming.

There was a time, and perhaps there are still times, when our very survival depended/depends on it.

So the urge to conform is strong in us,

especially in situations where we may not know what is appropriate, expected and safe.

I felt it when I attended a presentation early in my days in business.

He had already used various techniques that had me on edge, uncomfortable, aware of the not-so-subtle attempts at persuasion.

He had audience members becoming more and more excited.

“Raise your hand if …” and up went the hands.

Say “Yes” if you agree. And they were shouting “yes”.

“Who wants my freebie?” And before he had finished describing the thousands of dollars’ worth, two gentlemen were running to the stage for his USB.

“Everyone who belongs to my tribe run to the back of the room to sign up.”

And they did.

He had started with a room full of people. Many had left, but the numbers were still quite large.

I had no desire to buy.

I was very aware of what he was doing.

It was unsubtle and ugly,

and yet still I felt an outsider, uncomfortable, boring!

The power of belonging to the herd is incredibly strong.

And more recently, I attended a multi-level-marketing presentation.

I was late, partly because I was reluctant to attend, having agreed to make up numbers for a friend, and found myself sitting in a front row on a chair while about ten people sat on lounge chairs and padded chairs in an arc behind me.

And here again …

“Raise your hand if you want to live your dream.”

And the hands went up.

“Who’s excited by this offer?” And they very nearly shouted “Hallelujah!”

Then the presenter started inviting people to give testimonials and it became fairly obvious that there were only three of us who were not already members of the scheme.

Lovely to have so many people forming a community and supporting my friend who had hosted the event.

And while I felt uncomfortable sitting at the front, the herd force wasn’t as powerful as my first experience because I had gone in without any hopes.

At the earlier event I had been drawn by a particular suggestion in the marketing.

The herd instinct is a strong force for persuasion, especially in the unsure or vulnerable.

shepherd_sheep

Have you been in an audience and felt the force of it?

Perhaps you have been a shepherd, using the force – hopefully with more subtlety and integrity than those I experienced!

There are such huge dangers in following a formula and sounding the same as everyone else!!

In a hilarious talk capping off a day of new ideas at TEDxNewYork, professional funny person Will Stephen shows foolproof presentation skills to make you sound brilliant — even if you are literally saying nothing. (Full disclosure: This talk is brought to you by two TED staffers, who have watched a LOT of TED Talks.)

Try watching it a second time with the sound off!!

This is a guest post from Kwesi Millington.

Kwesi is a public speaking, storytelling & confidence coach, teaching you to speak, share, serve and live with greater confidence. Check out his website at www.CommunicateToCreate.com . He shares some very practical tips on speaking and story.

um_eliminate

When you speak, are your phrases littered with “um’s” and “ah’s”? Do filler words fill your speeches?

When I first started speaking, I HATED silence. I used to do anything to fill those silences. And when I didn’t know what to say next, I filled them with the non-word no-no’s that most people often use in conversation. The “Um’s”, “Ah’s”, “Likes” and “You knows”. It’s not that the audience did not understand my speeches when I used these words, but I appeared nervous, unprepared, and less professional.

I devoted myself to working on my delivery, and once I started to eliminate these filler words, I started to be told that my messages were more powerful, and that I was a pretty good speaker!

The thing is, the messages did not change to cause improvements; I literally TOOK AWAY words to make my speeches better, instead of adding them.

Let’s look at 5 strategies you can use starting now to become a, um, better speaker. These are easy to apply steps that will improve your communication and make you appear more confident. It’s as easy as one word: PAUSE.

P – Practice

Rehearse Your Speech. I have heard people say they can “wing it” or that they sound staged when they prepare beforehand. If that is you, fine, but from experience, complete practice leads to calm performances. People add fillers to make up for spaces in a speech that they are not prepared for. When you practice your speech, you get to know your material inside and out. This way, if you forget a part, you can pause and let it come back to you (because you have practised), or simply move on because lets face it, YOU are the only one who knows what you forgot anyways. How do you practice? See my article on the 5Ps of Perfect Practice for more.

A – Answer

When you ask your audience a rhetorical question to your audience (ie: Have you ever had a time when…?), take a moment to quickly answer the question in YOUR mind before continuing to speak. This does 2 things: firstly, it allows the audience to absorb your question, showing that you respect them and actually want them to think about it. Secondly, it forces you to pause, in a spot that you may have otherwise used fillers. The pause makes you look more polished and professional, and then you can continue speaking at your next sentence/thought.

U – Use Everyday as Practice

I once read of a question asked of high school students. They were asked to describe a situation in 2 ways: firstly, how they would tell a police officer the situation, and secondly how they would tell their friends. In the first instance, the verbiage was very proper, and in the second it was casual with fillers and broken English. Though I do not always believe in the following statement, I do believe it applies here: The Way You do ANYTHING, is the Way You do EVERYTHING. So from now on, get in the habit of NEVER using filler words, even when talking to your family and friends. Just like an athlete spends more time practising than in the game, most of your conversations are with people you know, and a very small percentage of your life’s speaking is on a stage, no matter how much you speak. So watch for filler words like um, ah, and like whenever you speak to ANYONE. Reduce then eliminate them in your daily life, and you will see that transfer to the stage.

S – Stop

When you speak, think of how you write. You add commas, semi-colons and periods in your writing. When you speak, deliberately pause where you would at these punctuation points. Many speakers are so focused on their next thought, they forget to let the last one sink in. Most people are visual learners, which means they form pictures in relation to what you say. Give them time to make those pictures, and to re-live your stories with you, by pausing at your punctuation points.

E – Enjoy Yourself

Finally, enjoy the process of speaking. You’ve practised, you know your material, and you have a message to share. Once you forget about being perfect and remembering everything that you want to say, you can enjoy your time on stage, SLOW down, and savour the moment. Don’t worry about the time or think about getting to your next point. Enjoy the NOW, and just deliver your speech one thought at a time!

At the end of the day, as Speaker Craig Valentine says, don’t look for perfection, look for connection!

This is a guest post from Kwesi Millington.

Kwesi is a public speaking, storytelling & confidence coach, teaching you to speak, share, serve and live with greater confidence. Check out his website at www.CommunicateToCreate.com and do watch his periscopes. He shares some very practical tips on speaking and story.

kiss
KISS it!

Try to learn one new word per week. Grow your vocabulary. Explore the richness of the English language…

Just leave the complex words out of your speeches.

Author John Maxwell says it this way…

“As leaders and communicators, our job is to bring clarity to a subject, not complexity. The measure of a great teacher isn’t what he or she knows, it’s what the students know.”

Speaking is not about YOU. That is the most important piece of information you can ever learn about this art.

It is about your listener. Think about their comprehension level. Many speakers try to impress the audience with what they know.

It’s NOT what you know, it is what you DID NOT know and have learned that will impress them. It is in your vulnerability that you will find your victory.

In writing, blogger James Altucher talks about the Flesch-Kincaid score (He wrote about it for Quora). This respected scoring system is applied to writing to determine what grade level you are writing for. For example, a Flesch-Kincaid (FK) score of 10 means that you are writing at a Grade 10 level.

Altucher provided studies of some recent top ranked articles, then he went back and got scores for the classic Hemingway book “The Old Man and the Sea” as well as “Heart of Darkness” by Joseph Conrad, and “Crime and Punishment” by Dostoevsky.

The F-K scores for ALL of these were between 4 and 8. Yes, that means that all of the above, including a Nobel Prize winning author’s work, were written at a Grade 4th to 8th level!!

When you speak, SPEAK the same way.

KISS it my friends (Keep It Simple when Speaking).

Martin Luther King said “I have a Dream”.
JFK said “It’s not what your country can do for you, it’s what you can do for your country.”

Grade schoolers can understand those quotes, and Adults have been moved by them.

Remember this…

Big words touch the Brain, Small words touch the Heart.

So what if we were asked to define the Holy Grail for speakers?

What would you say?

This has me intrigued now.

So the Holy Grail is a feeling?

What is that feeling?

For me, then,

the feeling is natural

not forced,

confident without being egotistical,

though sometimes a performance.

It is uplifting,

a quiet satisfaction sometimes,

sometimes exhilarating.

It is absolute connection,

shared laughs, emotional highs, and sad lows,

sudden understanding

and joy in discovery,

all shared.

That is me, the speaker, but what about the listener,

the audience member,

what does that person see as the Holy Grail of speaking,

of being in an audience?

What does that feel like?

And I, like you, have sat in an audience, just as we have stood or sat or walked as the speaker.

What is that feeling, as an audience?

We wanted to feel that connection

that experience,

those emotions,

the energy,

those shared learnings,

that absolute connection.

Sometimes we wanted to be the only person in that audience, alone in the experience,

at other times we felt kinship with all the others sitting or standing or online beside us.

We wanted to trust,

for the feeling of communication to be natural,

unforced.

We wanted to feel somehow changed by the experience,

more prepared to face our challenges,

validated in our choices already made,

motivated to go ahead,

uplifted, entertained, bemused,

if only for the duration of the presentation.

Is this the holy grail of speaking,

and does it exist,

has it ever existed???????

florian

I don’t like it.

I like Florien Mueck.

If you can get to his YouTube channel, do, he’s worth watching.

But I wish he hadn’t said that, or hadn’t been quoted as saying that.

Starting with a negative.

No, there is no perfection.

I live in a household of sporting people, and the shelves are lined with trophies. In any sporting competition, there are distinct winners and losers. A swimming race, say, takes a measured amount of time and the fastest wins. Simple and cut-and-dried (usually!)

A speech on the other hand … well! I have won many speaking competitions since about the age of 12. I have lost just as many. People come to me afterwards and tell me they thought I won. Sometimes I agreed, sometimes not. Despite the number of very well articulated criteria, there will always be that element of subjectivity involved. I know. I also judge!

So if there is no cut-and-dried “best” speaker, how can there ever be a “perfect” speaker, or a perfect speech?

Perfect according to whom? Perfect according to what criteria?

What if, on the other hand, we went to the second part of this quote and look at a speaking high.

What does that look like? What does that feel like?

To me, it feels like being in flow

– speaking fluently and with enthusiasm

– connecting with members of the audience so that they respond with emotion, or they participate

– it can feel powerful

– it can feel gratifying

– it can feel something close to perfection

And if we looked at the audience members after the speech, they would be doing what we, as speakers, aimed to have them do – repeating, remembering, rehiring, buying, changing, being motivated, or any number of other things we had designed.

It’s what keeps me speaking, meeting the challenge to be the best I can be, to climb higher and higher towards

no, not a mountain top,

not a peak

not perfection even, whatever that may be,

but certainly to more highs and greater heights.

And of course the corollary is that we all need to avoid becoming complacent, thinking that there is no better in us, no better experience we an provide, no need to strive or create anything new or better.

So, yes, Florian, I agree with you, and the quote stirred me to do that!!

And it’s what I want for all of us here – you, Florian, me and all of our fellow speakers and readers.

performing_authentic

I am writing this as the world mourns David Bowie.

Something Bowie said reminded me about the dichotomy that we all face, in public speaking, between “performing” and being “authentic.”

Many of my clients come to me because they are deterred from speaking by their fear of “performing” this thing called public speaking, fear of not adequately meeting some set of criteria, and of losing their self and their real message in that performance. .

Many of you will know how much of a struggle the dichotomy has been for me. I spent many years entering (and winning my fair share) of public speaking competitions. It is a world unto itself, competitive public speaking, bound by rules, and it involves speaking knowing that one is being judged (a nervous beginner’s worst nightmare, and daunting for the old hands as well!).

So for all those years I operated within that world and its rules, doing well, but constantly feeling the weird dislocation of communicating with an audience via a strict set of guidelines.

It has been incredibly liberating to give up the concept of being judged as a performer.

But still the dichotomy remains – authenticity is vital and yet performance has to be factored in. They must still be in balance.

And for me, and for many others like me, there is also the strange “lure” of performance, threatening to pull that balance awry in a different direction.

Two “events” that have crossed my path in the last couple of weeks have really highlighted this “lure” of performance.

The death of David Bowie was one but before that …

You might also be aware of my interest/obsession (!) with Outlanders, the series of books … and with the TV series, how it is being made …

and with the lead actor who is a consummate professional on and off stage.

(The fact that his good looks are highlighted at every opportunity doesn’t hurt either, but it’s not the main source of my interest.!)

The image below is from an Instagram post. He has had to work out to create the build of the character, Jamie. But he is also very involved in charities and one program he runs is a fitness/goal achievement challenge from which the funds go to one of those charities. In the course of this fundraising he has had to endure photo shoots for a cross-fit magazine, to promote this fundraiser.

sam heughan vulnerability

When you finish enjoying what he has achieved in terms of the physique, maybe you can read the text …

and see that possibility – of creating a performance, or a mask, behind which to hide the real you.

Where would you say this lies on the spectrum between authenticity and performing?

The second event, was the demise of David Bowie – a shock to the world. He was an icon of our age. Meant so much to so many people for so many reasons. He strummed our pain. He gave us possibilities outside our squares. He provided sheer entertainment and amazing music. He stimulated our creativity. He gave us solace.

Many of us are now listening to his latest and final recording for the hints he embedded about his attitude to life … and to death.

Even at the end, he was orchestrating his life. In 1976 he told Playboy “I’ve now decided that my death should be very precious. I really want to use it. I’d like my death to be as interesting as my life has been and will be.”

We are now looking back at the latest album, at the quotations, and connecting the dots back from the death of an icon. And in my efforts to do just that I found this quote which I put into a graphic.

bowie_shy

Both of these beautiful, thoughtful, creative professionals, expressing the concept of a separate persona or mask in order to perform or “expose” oneself.

So there it is …

and while I do see performance as a lure, mindful as I am of lingering memories of old experiences, I also find in it support for my theory that

introverts make the best speakers!

And the dichotomy remains!

After lots of experience and deliberation, and now these two events, I have reached this …

that the compromise between performance and being yourself comes, I think, down to two things –

being your best self

and playing the game with your audience.

What do you think?

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Does size matter in public speaking



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If you struggle to keep your presentations simple, my Message Clarity process may help.

It’s guided brainstorming, with you, in person or via Skype, to pinpoint and define your message and to focus the content so that you create engagement, so that you achieve the outcomes you want from your presentation, and so that you and your message are … unforgettable. Go here to let me know the details of your presentation and what you want to achieve, and I will let you know how we will go about achieving it. Click here to Get that clarity now!

8 Secrets from the Internet that can help you go viral as a speaker

What is it that will make you go viral – become admired and rehired as a speaker?

What is it that will have audiences flocking to your presentations where they will engage with you, and change or act or think differently as a result of their experience?

Afterwards, their conversations will be about your presentation; stimulated by the experience, providing positive feedback to you … and to event coordinators!

And if there’s one thing event coordinators love, it’s speakers who come recommended, and with their own fan base.

What makes people tweet your sound bytes? What makes them recommend your presentation and share it? What makes them give that positive feedback?

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel” ~ Maya Angelou

The answer lies in the viral elements you embed in your presentations. These are the elements that create an experience for your audience, make them feel something, involve them. They catch and keep attention. They heighten the impact. They are then held in the memory, and shared later. They are the elements that make internet content go viral and that you can use to build your own reputation.

Here are 8 specific elements that provide those experiences on the internet – making people want to share, and making others want to click and experience for themselves – that you can use in your speaking to make you and your message “go viral”.

1. Tell a story
People are used to watching stories on screens – in the theatre, on television and computer. A piece of content that tells a story, on the internet, then, automatically captures attention and draws an audience in immediately. They follow along with the story, waiting for the entertainment or the learning that they expect from a story. Your audiences, too, have been hardwired by a long history of storytelling to automatically tune in to a story, giving you instant engagement – in the same way. You then have the opportunity to draw them in with you, into the story, its emotional arc and its “moral”. Make it vivid enough, make it work to communicate a point, and you have created that element, that experience, that feeling; a memory to be valued and shared.

2. Appeal to an emotion
May Angelou’s quote says it all. Emotion on its own is a means for content to go viral, and for you to create an element that people will remember from your presentation. It can by funny (think videos of babies laughing) or sad (family loss or cancer’s ravages), moving or stupid, cute (all those Facebook videos of cute animals) strange or gross. Create an emotion to associate with your message and attract “hits” – attention, and “shares” – recommendations.

3. Add a roller-coaster to the emotion …
and you multiply the effect. You may have seen the Dove “sketches” video. It utilises this effect well, as the women, originally challenged and then gradually coming to realise that they are seen as more beautiful than they see themselves. The emotion swells. This is storytelling at its best.

4. Be Positive/Uplifting
While it may seem that we are addicted to negative news and all that is awful, there are many pieces of viral internet content that are successful because they inspire us and show us that, as humans, we can be good, kind, tolerant. The video “Validation” is just one. Inspire your audience and you create an experience that they value, remember and share.

5. Use the unexpected
People love surprise. They love the unexpected. The “Gangnam style” video had an element of the unexpected (along with “humour” and a human element that people could relate to!) And the Pepsi ad “Test Drive” was based around the unexpected. If you can create this element in your presentation you engage your audiences, you add it to your speaker brand and you can make it a powerful viral element.

6. Use a compelling opening
Open with a bang, something that captures attention right from the start, and you have your audience focused on you and your content. You can use something we have already listed – a story, something unexpected, something emotionally evocative. Or use something guaranteed to get attention that the audience shares, such as geographical humour, reference to a local or international celebrity or an event you all shared. But open with a bang and follow up with content that is equally engaging and you have the elements of an experience, a viral speech.

7. Inform your audience. Open their minds
The classic internet example, of course, is the TED talks which show new ways of thinking about their topics. If you can present a unique viewpoint on a subject, a point that creates “lightbulb” experiences, then you can establish yourself as a thought-leader in your niche. People will be drawn to your presentations for the insight you can provide; just as the appellation of ”TED talk” draws internet users time and again to those speakers.

8. No ads
There are so many advertising videos produced now that are produced simply to go viral, and there is very little mention of the product. Evian’s “Baby and me” is a great example, and so is the Dove ad we mentioned before, and the numbers are climbing rapidly. These companies are very aware of the role of the story, the unexpected, and the way it can create such an experience that viewers remember that and then make the connection to the product. We as speakers can relax in this knowledge, especially since no audience wants a “salesy” presentation. Make your “sale” whatever it is, secondary to your great content and you still can be successful.

In the end, what you are providing is a memorable experience for your audience and that experience is heightened by the viral elements you use. Begin with your compelling opening, and then provide an experience that moves people and gives them new ways of thinking about things and you will

• have them engaged and focused on you and your message
• have them remembering, repeating, acting on and sharing you and your message.
• impress event coordinators who see that you come with recommendations, that their delegates are engaged and responding, are being moved to change and are talking about the speaker they chose.

Want success as a speaker? Go viral!

Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart

Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart

We learn from our mistakes.

It’s been a hard lesson to learn, but I’m learning.

Mistakes are not failures.

Difficulties are not the end.

A speech that challenges in some way is not a reason to give up speaking.

Every time there is a difficulty, it is not the end but a sign post.

It is an indicator that something needs to be altered to avoid that difficulty next time, and therefore become a better speaker.

Are you nervous, perhaps to the point of not speaking at all? Then look at those nerves and see how they may be changed.

Did you not get the results you hoped for?

Did you have a difficulty with the equipment?

Did you have difficulty with the audience response?

There are a myriad of issues we face when we speak, but each one is a sign post to improvement, a trigger to open our eyes to how we can be better and to open our hearts so that we understand and forgive ourselves and better serve our audiences.

[Note to self – and you if you happen to be in the vicinity] Next time you find me beating myself up over some error/mistake/failure, please will you just remind me of the wonderful improvements that lie ahead for me. Thank you!

It’s not just speaking … when we speak to persuade.

Successful persuasion also lies in the ability to actively listen, even in the field of public speaking.

listening_persuade

Successful speaking to persuade relies on knowing your audience.

What are their needs and wants.

How are they thinking about your proposal.

What are they likely to favour about it?

What is going to stand in the way of them being persuaded?

What are their doubts?

What are their objections?

What are the obstacles to them moving forward with your suggestions?

Listen to them – before the presentation – survey them, talk to them, ask the event organiser about them – and listen.

Listen to them – during the presentation – ask them questions – and listen.

Successful speaking to persuade relies on seeing moments where you can gain agreement – maybe a comment or question from your audience, a situation from which you can draw an analogy, maybe a report back from a group discussion.

Listen for those and keep a line of thinking open that will allow you to use those moments to really amp up the energy of your speaking response.

Successful speaking to persuade relies on your being adaptable. It’s one of the lessons I teach in my workshops and seminars on PowerPoint. Be prepared to change the course or direction of your presentation. If it seems that your audience puts value on one point or discussion over another, or if the feedback, comments or discussion suggests that a different direction would wok best, then be prepared to change the structure of the presentation that you had prepared in advance.

This means that not only is your structure working for you. It also means that you are building trust. You care enough about your audience to change direction for them and you are confident enough in your material and your beliefs to change direction for them.

Listen, then to their comments, to their suggestions and the tone of their discussions.

So I have covered three areas of listening that will build the success of your persuasive speaking – knowing your audience, watching for opportunities to ramp up the energy and being adaptable.

Do you use any other listening techniques to successfully persuade?

, ,
[Quotation about public speaking] The success of your presentation depends on more than your knowledge

success_presentation

I am writing this after a scrumptious dinner in a town in the north of our state called Townsville. I am looking out over moon-sparkled water and the dark mass of almost-tropical islands close off-shore …

… a holiday-inspired article which nevertheless applies to all of us who speak and to those of us, also, who work on branding our businesses.

And I was inspired, today as we wandered down the main street of the town full of historical buildings and more modern businesses.

pre_push

There it was. This sandwich board.

It caught my eye and then my imagination.

I had to go back and look again.

And what made it do that?

There are three reasons and they are all techniques we can use in our speaking and our branding to have people caught, intrigued and going back for another look (or listen).

1. She used Alliteration

All those Ps!

It’s a beautiful rhetorical and literary device, alliteration, and it creates an effect called foregrounding

It creates a little hitch in the flow of attention, a little distraction. People might not even be aware that you used it, but they will be drawn to the words and their meaning. with a slight sense of intrigue.

If we count Pre-Push as one word, there is also anther device called the Rule of Three operating here. Create a list of three or a group of three and we have the same effect – that slight sense of interruption and something special.

2. She used Humour

(I’m using the word “she” because I met the owner of the establishment as I was taking a photo. She had a beautiful smile and very graciously and humbly accepted my exclamations about her marketing and my explanation that I wanted to use her work to share with you.)

I have never seen “Pre-push” used before.

Have you?

And even if you have, you have to admit it has flair.

It is a classic humour device – using the unexpected.

It made me smile and if we can make our audiences smile, we have them a little more open to feeling that we are likeable, that they can trust and believe our message.

3. She used an image

It’s a subtle reinforcement, this image, of just what is meant by “Pre-push”, and has a strong sense of the feminine, aimed, no doubt, at the target client, or perhaps her significant others.

We use images, too, to support our points when we speak. We don’t need them to be distracting from our message, nor do we want them to be offensive.

(… and yes I have blocked out one of the words in the promotion in case you were offended or distracted by it!!)

So if you are in Townsville. Queensland, Australia and in need of some pampering, pre-push, I recommend you check out Bellanova.

And if you are in front of an audience, either presenting or online, I recommend you check out the lessons from her sandwich board, They are simple, subtle and powerful!!

why_homework

Why would you give your audience homework?

How could homework be a gift?

~

Most school children hate homework, or at least see it as a chore.

Why do school children have homework?

I imagine there are many reasons, but one must be to solidify the learning done in school.

Because we learn by doing.

We reinforce theory with practice.

We multiply the learning by applying what we have learned to our own lives.

We take ownership of the learning when we implement it.

~

We take ownership of the learning when we implement it.

~

Spend time in the classroom or with an inspirational speaker, and we take in theory.

We take in enthusiasm, too, hopefully!

We take in the steps to success.

We take those “in”… at the time.

But how far “in” do they go as soon as we leave the classroom

… as soon as the speaker leaves the podium

… as soon as the lesson has ended?

How often have you listened to a motivational speaker, felt motivated … and then several weeks, or even days, later, if someone asked what you were doing differently now, could not remember what his message was or what you had felt so motivated to do????

Clever speakers give their audiences homework.

Caring speakers who really want their audiences to achieve or grow or benefit give their audiences the gift of homework.

They will learn by doing.

They will reinforce theory with practice.

They will multiply the learning by applying what they have learned to our own lives.

They will take ownership of the learning when they implement it.

So if you care about your audience, really want them to change, really want to be of service, what will you ask them to do when they get home after your presentation?

one_message

One of the best pieces of advice any speaking coach can give is to create a message for your speech.

One central message.

Do not speak until you have one central message – one sentence – make it 140 characters if you’re a tweep – but one sentence. Limit it to ten words if you want to really succeed.

If you were to condense your speech into one sentence what would that sentence be?

It forces us to really focus on our audiences.

Who are they? What do they really want? What is it that we really want to say to them? What is it that we really NEED to say to them?

Creating that one sentence forces us to simplify our speech structure. If there is only one message, then every single section, sentence and word needs to support that sentence. What doesn’t work is jettisoned. How much easier does that make your choice of material and avoiding the temptation to ramble?!!

And when there is one single message in our presentation, then obviously there can only be one next step for the audience to take. If we give them too many options, they end up confused and take none. If there is just one next step for them, we are forced to present that in the most powerful, persuasive passionate way we can.

The problem, of course is that we would prefer to speak about a topic . “My passion is about TOPIC A,” we think. “I’ll speak about that – share my passion, get the audience enthused and inspired.” If there is no message, though, we are left with the challenges of how to choose content, how to maintain the enthusiasm and inspiration, and, most importantly, no specific outcome for the audience, (or ourselves).

For many of us, too, there is the old belief that public speaking is all about showing just how knowledgeable we are – bombard the audience with heaps of important information and we have created an image of ourselves as …. worth knowing, worth hiring, worth whatever it is that we are desiring from this experience. And what does the audience get from the experience? Overload, confusion, maybe even boredom.

What do they remember? Possibly they remember one or two points – a story, perhaps or a word picture. And all that information was wasted. Unless we are incredibly good at creating a particular experience with the presentation, then it was wasted.

Having one single message, one single desired outcome, one single focus, would have made the limiting of the information overload so much easier.

And the process of creating this message?

I said at the beginning that this was one of the best pieces of advice that a speaking coach can give.

It’s true.

It is not true, however, that the message must be formulated first.

Much as I would like to teach a single process to building a speech, it just doesn’t work that way – well certainly not for me.

There is research about the topic, usually. There is a process of researching the audience. There is the collection and refinement of possible content. There are the thought processes that winnow and define the outcome required. They all respond to each other, careening and intertwining and sparking off each other. And out of all of those processes, finally comes a message.

Start with the topic by all means. But let the message develop.

It’s a difficult process, but one of the most rewarding!

speaking_selling

“Speaking is selling”

It’s an ugly phrase, that. I feel its ugliness.

Speaking is pure – a mixture of art and science.

Selling – urgh – ugly – involves low-down, dirty manipulation, something that forces its recipients and audiences to put up barriers against trust and hope and good taste – at best a game with winners and losers.

!!!!

Well, I have to say that’s a common feeling.

We start out with a fabulous idea. It makes us feel good and full of light. It’s going to change the world.

It might be an idea that will make people feel better, live better, or make the world a better place.

It might even be a product or program that will also make an income for us doing what makes us feel good and full of light instead of dull and bored and chained to a desk.

And then we discover that people do not necessarily come running to be part of that beautiful idea.

It’s going to involve persuasion and marketing … and … selling – and that doesn’t necessarily mean selling, as in asking for money for a product.

It can just mean selling the vision, the idea so that people change their minds, think differently, act differently – persuasion – just another form of that ugly manipulation, really.

What if …

What if …

we could shine that light out into the minds of the audience?

What if …

What if …

we could shine that light as an inspiration, a source of hope, an answer?

What if …

What if …

it illuminated a vision those audience members already had – buried beneath a deep, heavy layer of doubt and self-distrust and painful sense of failure?

Not so ugly?

Not so shameful?

Not so manipulative?

“Speaking is inspiring”!

“As long as there are human rights to be defended; as long as there are great interests to be guarded; as long as the welfare of nations is a matter for discussion so long will public speaking have it place.” ~ William Jennings Bryan

Public speaking has its place

In my current obsession with storytelling, I have discovered a Hopi Proverb which says the “Those who tell the stories rule the world.”

Leaders everywhere are those who give their followers something to believe in, a narrative that explains the present and paints a future.

And leaders are not just those in government or religion.

They lead in business, they lead in our institutions, they lead in our families.

We all have the capacity to be a leader at some time.

I am only thankful that the skills of public speaking are there to give us the power to lead and to create a world with values that we can uphold.

Does size matter in public speaking

It’s an age-old argument … that bigger is better.

And without getting into too much anatomical detail or economic theory, sometimes it is.

Does that mean more is better too?

Well when it comes to speaking, the belief that more is better has been many a speaker’s downfall … including my own!

For me, I think it comes from the old school idea that more information means a higher mark, and possibly the old-school culture of an information age where information was king and prized above rubies.

It also comes, I think, from a need to come from a place of power as a speaker – a place of asserting authority on a subject, of being seen as the expert.

There’s an old speaking proverb that says “When you squeeze your information in, you squeeze your audience out.”

In order to create power for ourselves, we inadvertently take away power from the audience.

Some of the best speaking engagements I have had, have been where I was able to ask the audience questions – and get answers. Sometimes the groups were small enough to have an actual conversation, sometimes there were large so that I had to have show of hands or some other type of response. But I sensed the feeling of validation in the people who responded and in those around them. And we learnt from each other, sometimes far more than they simply would have learned from me.

There is value in giving power to our audiences.

There is value in not squeezing them out with an overload of information, too.

We want to be remembered. What is it that we want to be remembered for?

We want an outcome, a next step, for our audiences to take. What is that one step?

How many things do you remember from the last presentation you attended? One? Maybe three?

How many next steps can we realistically expect an audience to take when we finish speaking, or in the days, weeks, months afterwards? One? Any more than one?

So there is value then, in giving only the information that will contribute to that single powerful memory or that single next step. Give too much information , more than anyone could be expected to remember, or act upon, and we give nothing more than confusion, a garbled message. The result – forgettable and ineffective.

In this age driven by quick visuals and 140-character messages, there is enormous power is presenting a very focused, very memorable single message or two. You will be invited back, and/or you will have built a bridge to further communication and then can share more.

We can still be seen to be giving valuable loads of information, but remember at the same time that one single focus, that one memorable message.

Can you, as Carmine Gallo has challenged his students, write your message in 140 characters?

Bigger is not always better.

More is not always better.

And for speakers, less is definitely more.

Cleaning out my inbox I discovered this graphic in an email from the beginning of last year.

Do you live in the UK or US?

Does this ring true? …

and …

does it matter?

Your opinion in the comments may just mean the difference between success and failure for an international speaker!!

T-M-Lewin-Infographic_600px
This infographic is supplied by T. M. Lewin

We are incredibly blessed to have an environmental park just 50 metres from our home. I am grateful to old George Swanston, our local Council representative more than twenty years ago, who fought to have it gazetted as such, and not given over to developers. We now have a backdrop of trees from our house and access to beautiful walking tracks and scenery.

At our particular entrance to the park is a disused quarry – huge sandstone cliffs where blocks of stone were removed. It has been shored up, but part of it remains rather unstable and in times of heavy rain, boulders are sometimes dislodged. It is now a beautiful, serene place.

The piece of landscape I focussed on this morning, though, had me thinking …

quarry_ps

This is the wall the park-keepers have created to protect the walking path from falling boulders.

And it reminded me of constructing a speech (possibly because I’m currently putting together a workshop on the subject!)

See the wire netting they have used to make sure the stone wall stays in place?

Sometimes I feel like I am in need of such a cage – something to keep the whole speech together and tight and effective – not allowing ideas to escape out of the structure I want.

We collect such a miscellany of thoughts, and knowledge and experiences and opinions and do our best with them. We sort them and discard those that will not support the message we want for this particular audience. We build them into a structure that will work for this presentation. It will be strong. It will work to make the message flow and shape so that the audience follows it easily without too much awareness of its existence. It will look and feel good to ourselves as we present, giving us confidence in the whole.

And that’s what they have done with these stones in this wall. They collected a huge number, and sorted out the ones that will fit and that are of a similar size so that they can be stacked into a shape. They built them into a structure that will protect the walkers here on the path, without intruding into the flow of their walk or run. And I suspect they are rather proud of their final construction.

And yet …

They had to put the net around it. Was it not built well enough?

Perhaps they did not have a proper dry-stone wall person. Perhaps it is not finished and they intend to replace it or cover it with concrete or such.

The question remains … though I am so happy people are taking care of the park and making it safe.

And yet…

These grey stones are not native to the area – well not in evidence anywhere around. They are imports. The whole structure seems alien.

Did you ever feel that about a speech?

Maybe it didn’t align with your passions. Maybe you were presenting someone else’s material. Maybe you’ve seen a speaker who had found the audience was not as they expected, or the speech just didn’t belong in the event, either subject-wise, or energy-wise.

Still I am grateful.

Returning from my walk, I follow the little side street and in front of me, at the end of the street, is this beautiful tree.

jacaranda

It belongs (though it was planted there).

It has its own natural shape. Nothing constrains it (though it was pruned – many years ago).

It is beautiful.

Is this what it feels to present a speech so that it feels like it belongs, so that it feels natural, unconstrained, and we can feel its beauty?

The speaker’s own energy and authentic passion,

constructed for this audience and their needs and wants and values,

suitable to the event, aligned with its intent and vibe.

I wish you (and me) many more trees … and many more speeches that give as much pleasure and satisfaction.

The Public Speaking Power in Creating

Public Speaking is all about you, isn’t it?

You the speaker.

You creating a speech.

You delivering a speech.

You taking the audience on a journey.

You affecting the outcome.

You presenting stories, humour, information, ideas, products.

Me, the speaker.

Me, facing my fears.

Me, being confident.

Me, remembering the best words to use.

Me, creating energy in the room.

Me, finally achieving success as a speaker.

This blog is aimed at You (and if you are reading this, then it is about “me”).

I am writing and speaking to you, hoping to give you ideas and resources that will be of value to you as a speaker.

Strange, then, that the one sure foundation of success is the ability, once the presentation begins (or even in the marketing beforehand) to make it about us – all of us in the room, all of us on this journey to being better, living better, being and living more easily.

Not just the audience – the “you” to whom we speak – else we become preachers, philosophers, at least one step, if not a whole staircase removed, from that audience, that “you”.

We are all on this journey together, supporting each other.

How can we best ensure that, in our blogs, in our social media, in our speaking?

I hate public speaking - that rash

About that rash …

Yes that rash … the one you were telling me about at the networking meeting.

“Oh public speaking,” you said, “I hate public speaking. I always get that rash that spreads up my neck. So embarrassing! I have to wear a scarf!”

Is it because of the rash that you hate public speaking or is it that you hate public speaking and consequently get a rash?

Or is it that you don’t mind public speaking, or you wouldn’t mind public speaking? In fact you would probably enjoy it, but somewhere someone said something that gave you the idea that you would be judged every time you spoke or that the stakes are high every time you speak – be careful!

And that created stress. Stress releases cortisol and adrenaline into your system and both are known to affect the skin. Or it could be that you are having an allergic reaction caused by stress.

Either way you need to relieve yourself of the stress. That way you bring back the enjoyment you expect from public speaking and the freedom to speak without worrying about that rash.
And in this case, though not for everyone, it was caused by fear of being judged and fear of failure.
And what could you use, what thought pattern could you introduce, what story could you tell yourself so that you lost those fears?

The first step is to lose the focus on you. Yes I know there might be a rash, but there won’t be if you stop focussing on you, your being judged, your risks in the high stakes outcome.
The second step is to focus on having a conversation with our audience. Look at it as a stylised conversation, perhaps, but don’t call it “public speaking”. This is different, if only so that it’s no longer associated in your mind and adrenal glands with the ”thing” (“public speaking’) that causes the anxiety, the stress, the rash.

And in this conversation, just as in any conversation, engagement and connection occur naturally. Be a natural, not someone being judged on a performance.

And while you are focussing on that audience and the conversation, think about what you are doing for them. What are you giving them that they need or want or like? Start with the mindset of service, of win-win for you and them. Research them and uncover what they need/want/like and appreciate and then give that. Make them aware, and reassure yourself, that you are there to serve.

It is not about you. It is about your audience and your service to them.

So while the high stakes may involve making a sale or persuading or impressing, that sale, that persuasion, that impression will all be made so much easier and less stressful if you aim to serve and make it obvious that that is your aim. And the outcomes will be so much more abundant as well.

Win-win for all concerned.

Know that your new techniques will take away the feeling of being judged and the stress of high stakes outcomes. Know that all you need to do is know your audience, hold a stylised conversation with them and offer them service. And the anxiety drops. The stress drops. The adrenalin and the cortisol drop. The rash goes and public speaking becomes something to anticipate with pleasure.

You CAN do this!

…..

Now … about that adrenalin addiction – that adrenalin habit, the one you told me about at the dinner last night – ah that’s a whole other article…!

If your audience cannot hear you, you have lost them.

 

If there is no microphone, and even if there is, it is your responsibility, in the end, to make sure people can hear you.

 

1. Project your voice – right to that back row.

 

2. Articulate well. Practice overdoing it sometimes – hilarious, I know, but a great way to remind you voice muscles that they are expected to work for you and to say words properly without slurring, mumbling, muttering or leaving off the ends of words. In today’s fast-paced world we sometimes develop lazy habits.

 

3. Take the time to pronounce each word properly. Research every word you use so you don’t get caught. You may be heard, but it’s going to be distracting if you mispronounce something, or stumble over it.

 

4. Using abbreviations or acronyms? Unless they are in common usage, they might as well have been whispered if someone in your audience has not idea what you mean.

 

5. You will have made the effort to visit the venue if at all possible before you present. While you are checking it over for all possibilities, remember to check the acoustics, and the microphone.

 

6. Have someone you can call on to deal with unforeseen issues like a noisy air conditioner, a noisy audience member or a noisy microphone. If there is no someone, have a disaster management plan in place.

 

7. Don’t forget to make your audience very aware that you have their interests at heart, that you are meeting their needs, and that you are all in this together, or they will stop listening anyway.

 

And, in the end, there is always that old tried and true phrase “lend me your ears” – well — maybe!

music_expresses

This is a beautiful quotation.

But now I’m giving it some deeper thought.

Really? … “what cannot be said” … what is it that cannot be said that music can express?

I would love to hear your ideas, because there are some incredibly eloquent writers and speakers whom I admire hugely, and I cannot help wondering what it is that they cannot express that music can…?

And add to that the criterion … “on which it is impossible to be silent”

Do comment!

Another thought that occurs to me is that we use images as we speak sometimes, and they add a new dimension to our spoken words.

What is the role of music here? Would it add a dimension, or speak for itself?

individuality

“A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.”

— Robert Orben

If you live in America, today is the anniversary of that speech.

On 28th August, 1963, Martin Luther King spoke to over 250,000 civil rights supporters from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial during the March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom.

I-have-a-dream-site

I have a dream.

He had not intended to use that line – “I have a dream”. Along with the marchers, he had been singing gospel songs among other things as they marched. A powerful gospel singer and civil rights support, Mahalia Jackson had called to him “Tell them about the dream, Martin.”

And he told them about his dream – impromptu.

In 1999 this speech was ranked the top American speech of the 20th century, and at least part of it was impromptu!!

He had used the dream before in several speeches, so it wasn’t entirely impromptu, but chosen from his repertoire of “things that work”. Do you have a repertoire of “things that work”?

There had been several versions of the speech prepared beforehand, but none of them was used in its entirety.

The structure of the speech is graceful and powerful. I love Nancy Duarte‘s study of it.

He used the gospel connection well. He used geographical reference well. He used the American iconic moments of history well.

The clever rhetoric and speech structure are obvious.

The two moments that stand out for me are two examples of rhetoric. He resonated with lists and particularly anaphora, I think. The first was when he used “now is the time …” Suddenly what was merely a speech, now had passion. There was genuine feeling in his voice. The second was just before he introduced “I have a dream”. He had listed all the parts of the country his audience would return to, and it was as if he suddenly really connected with his audience. He left the script with his eyes and they continued to scan the audience. Suddenly the whole rhythm and pitch and pace of his speech changed. It returned but his face had changed. He felt somehow free.

What makes you feel free to connect with your audience – that you have the power to move them? We all have it.

Enjoy!

Your speech flows along.

It makes sense.

Your audience is listening, watching, presumably absorbed.

Keep them that way. A speech that flows along like that will get boring before long unless you introduce something that brings your audience’s comfort up short.

switch_words

Today’s quick tip is one little device that will interrupt the normal communication process and rather than following the flow of ideas, the listener focuses on the words instead. Using this effect, you can have your audience stop, and really listen – to all that you want them to understand, engage with and remember.

This effect is to do with the sounds within words.

One way to create this effect with sounds is to use alliteration. Alliteration is one of the most powerful ways. Here, each word begins with the same sound. So I might have a “particularly powerful proposition” or an idea may be “Revolutionary and radical.” Can you feel the device working, drawing your attention to the words and all that they mean?

Another technique using sound is rhyme. Like all devices, it can evoke emotion which is one of the best ways to resonate and engage with your audience. It can also be used very effectively to create humour… Ogden Nash wrote: “Candy is dandy. But liquor is quicker.” How much meaning there is in those few words … and he draws attention to them using rhyme.

These are also the words that will create what I call a “bright spot” in a speech – a place you can call back to. Use it to identify a point in your speech, or a moment in the presentation as a whole.

So start getting into the habit of incorporating alliteration and rhyme into your speeches – at times when you want to slow things down and make a major point. They will be a powerful ally for you.

storytelling (1)We are wired for story.

For hundreds of years, we passed on our culture, our values and the understandings necessary for survival, verbally, using story.

Our stories had a moral. All of them. There were lessons to be learned and we knew they were valuable.

We are wired to look for the moral, the point of the story.

What an opportunity to tell a story and have your audience expecting the point you are going to make!

What a shame then, if we tell a story and don’t make a point. What a waste.

And what a let-down for the audience.

The moral is – “Don’t waste your stories”.

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”
― Rudyard Kipling

misused_words
Is it a drug you need to persuade people when you speak?

We spend a lot of our time speaking to persuade – persuade people to adopt our ideas, persuade them to buy our products or services, persuade them to employ our skills – sometimes just to pick up their towels from the bath room floor.

Is it a drug you need when you want to persuade?

We can drug ourselves into belief with the stories we tell ourselves.

Undoubtedly we can drug our audiences into belief just as well with the power of words.

We can create emotion with words. And emotion is one of the most powerful persuasion devices there is.

We can build a relationship with a audience to take them with us into the behaviour we want.

Let’s start with emotion.

You can attach emotion to an idea with words that will give it a positive energy or a negative energy or remove either of those.

Associate an idea with positive words and make it attractive. We would all rather a glass half full than a glass half empty. Generally we prefer something with the words “New and Improved” attached. Advertisers use adjectives that build the positives of their products – adjectives like more, increased, amazing, best, fastest, greatest. And I would far rather take up reading, if I were a child, if I knew it would give me a pleasant experience rather that because it would keep me out of mischief.

Reduce the negativities of an idea by using words that diminish that side. So we refer to “layoffs” rather than “downsizing”. We refer to “Intensive Interrogation techniques” rather than “torture” and refer to “used” Aston Martins as “pre-owned”.

On the other hand, associate certain words with a person or an idea and create a negativity around them. Adjectives again, like “infamous”, “malicious” and “stingy” all attach an emotional negativity.

These are powerful emotional drugs to use in persuasion.

Underlying this communication, though, are the word choices you can make that build your credibility for your audience and encourage their trust.

Perhaps the most important word you can use is “You”. Every audience member needs to feel that they are the centre of your attention and that meeting their needs is your prime objective. Focus on using the word “You” and you are forcibly reminded to turn your own thinking and your language that way.

Beyond this, though, the best words to use are “we”, “together” and “us” because they give the impression that you and your audience are of one mind, working towards the same outcome. Take them with you to that outcome. Speak to them, too, in their own language, avoiding words they might not understand and jargon that excludes them.

Validate them and their ideas whenever you can. Use words like “Thank you” and appreciate”.

We have talked already about the adjectives you can use for various reasons. Try to avoid adverbs. Use, instead, very evocative verbs.

Mark Twain again –
“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter—’tis the difference between the lightning-bug and the lightning.”

What can you use instead of “said”, for example? “Whispered” or “screamed” will communicate far more useful emotion. This is so much more effective than “said quietly” or “said loudly”. It also uses fewer words. We often associate verbosity with someone who is trying to cover something. So to build trust, keep it simple and use simple powerful words.

Now, how to reword my requests about those bath towels??!!

Maybe all you need is disaster management

Maybe all you need is Disaster Management

You KNOW that speaking is a great way to share your brilliance with a wider audience, gaining you leads and clients for business, supporters for your ideas, more souls who need your inspiration (and just connecting with people).

But is something stopping you?

Public speaking nerves are normal and healthy, but not if they are stopping you sharing that brilliance.

There are all sorts of sources of those nerves and their paralysing effect and all sorts of ways to release them.

But sometimes it is as simple as taking a moment or two to define just what it is you are afraid of – what is allowing the paralysis.

It may be as simple as fear of disaster – of something going horribly wrong.

And step two may be just as simple. Set disaster management plans in place. Don’t court disaster, but just set stuff up so that you can visualise success, knowing that you have contingency plans in place.

So take that moment or two today and it may, indeed, be just that simple.

[Image source: http://vulkanschule.de/images/vulkanausbruch.jpg]

Prezi Top 100
Last week, Prezi released their list of the Top 100 online resources for presenters. It’s an incredibly useful resource all packed into one page.

We have scoured the web looking for the most inspirational and useful resources for anyone looking to improve their presentation skills; the #PreziTop100 is the result of all this hard work. We assembled this list by looking at both popularity data (Alexa Rank, Google pagerank, pageviews, Klout score, social media followers, and social engagement) and the quality of the content as determined by a panel of Prezi judges.

And I am so honoured to be included in the blog section. Honoured to be chosen by Prezi, but also kind of amazed to see my name listed among people whom I have been reading and learning from for years.

So to Prezi, thank you.

To you, I have a wonderful new resource I can share with you – The Top 100 online resources for presenters

sweet_benjamin

“Imprison it”…? Hmm. My mother used to say to me “Put your words on the palm of your hand and look at them before you speak.” I liked that. Sweet Benjamin needs to guard against speaking without thinking.

If he’s going to be a speaker, he needs to consider his message and his audience before he speaks.

But “imprison” …? What do you think?

Everyone admires a good comedian.

They groan loudly at someone they think is a bad comedian.

Most speakers either harness humour or wish they could.

We love to laugh and we love the sound of laughter.

But there’s more to it than that.

Behind these thoughts and opinions about humour and laughter, is the understanding that we like people who make us smile.

We are more likely to love people who make us laugh.

What does this mean to you as a speaker – having an audience like you?

What if you have a heavy message – something that has to be said, but has the potential to be weighty? Humour will lighten it.

What happens if you are presenting an idea that is new to the audience, an idea that maybe they find objectionable, if you have to persuade them? Introduce humour, have the audience liking that experience and maybe liking you, relaxing a little, and you have made it a little easier to bring in that new idea.

Behind this phenomenon of liking someone who makes us smile is also then, the ability for us as speakers, to reinforce our credibility. It allows us to answer the questions usually present in every audience member’s mind – who is this person? Why should I listen? Use humour to acknowledge those questions … and answer them. Create a smile and you have opened a door to friendship. Share some self-effacing humour and you introduce authenticity, and the possibility that you are maybe, just maybe, not going to be a boring presenter.

You have grabbed attention and engagement.

When it comes to engaging a specific audience, there are many techniques you can use. Refer to the location if you can. Refer to the local sports team, a local iconic building, or to a national characteristic that they are happy to laugh at. Research or meet the audience. Is there someone whom everyone knows, who is in the audience and who would not mind having an idiosyncrasy used humorously?

Not only does this create engagement between us as speakers and our audiences, it also creates a bond between members of the audience. They are in this experience together. And if there is one thing successful speakers do every time they speak, it is to create an experience. This is all the more powerful if it is felt to be shared.

And this makes event organisers heave a sigh of relief. “That speaker was worth hiring, did you hear the audience laughing?”

Event organisers will remember you (and re-hire you).

That audience will remember as well. Humour makes your points more memorable. They will remember and repeat – you and your message.

Finally, a little personal support, (and as speakers we need that at times!).. humour allows us to deal with disasters. Create a laugh to share with your audience about something that has gone wrong, and any anxiety and awkwardness is dissipated.

So while it may seem that a speaker has just thrown a joke or two into their speech to lighten things up, in reality, what they were doing was guaranteeing their success – creating an experience, creating engagement, easing the process of persuasion and ensuring future gigs. Not bad for “a joke or two”, and certainly worth the investment.

The emotionally charged story recounted at the beginning Dr. Paul Zak’s film—of a terminally ill two-year-old named Ben and his father—offers a simple yet remarkable case study in how the human brain responds to effective storytelling.

As part of his study, Dr. Zak, a founding pioneer in the emerging field of neuroeconomics, closely monitored the neural activity of hundreds of people who viewed Ben’s story.

What he discovered is that even the simplest narrative, if it is highly engaging and follows the classic dramatic arc outlined by the German playwright Gustav Freytag, can evoke powerful empathic responses associated with specific neurochemicals, namely cortisol and oxytocin. Those brain responses, in turn, can translate readily into concrete action—in the case of Dr. Zak’s study subjects, generous donations to charity and even monetary gifts to fellow participants.

By contrast, stories that fail to follow the dramatic arc of rising action/climax/denouement—no matter how outwardly happy or pleasant those stories may be—elicit little if any emotional or chemical response, and correspond to a similar absence of action. Dr. Zak’s conclusions hold profound implications for the role of storytelling in a vast range of professional and public milieus.

hans_rossling_TEDI teach a lot about using stories. Stories are incredibly powerful speaking tools.

I coach clients to choose stories that support a point, that supplement data and that make data come alive.

But not always.

The image above is, of course, Hans Rossling presenting data. It comes from the Superflux blog And Hans has a wonderful ability to present data – but in this case to a TED audience who respond well to his particular style of data wrapping.

Sometimes an audience is different.

It expects the data, thinks in terms of data, has an inbuilt radar that rejects the stories behind it as irrelevant.

Sometimes, the data tells its own story. It builds engagement on its own because both presenter and audience know the story behind it. It is a language, a communication, all of its own.

For that audience, probably, stories will have their place, but the story placement will need to be very judiciously chosen, using criteria that are very different from those for an audience, say, that needs to have data wrapped up in story… or the visualisation that Hans Rossling has made his own!

Quick tip? … as always … know your audience… and for me as a coach – part of the coaching process it to remind clients to check in mentally with the culture in which they will be speaking.