Practice doesn’t make perfect, it makes you free to be real, perfectly
I’ve been calling this the missing link to public speaking success because so often, we sign up for courses, and then have to put all of that theory, and the true learning that we might have achieved , into practice.
And that’s when I have seen so many people, including me, baulk, back off, decide that maybe now is not the time.
Despite anything that may be said or taught about confidence and faith in yourself,
or anything anyone else has said
that you agreed with at the time, and know to be true
it all slips away.
And we are not ready at all, because we still haven’t addressed issues that are stopping us taking those opportunities to speak,
to put all the theory into practice.
What we all have to do, and probably you have been through this process once or twice and maybe need to do it again
is BELIEVE what we know.
And for me, at least, that BELIEF comes from
knowing from practice sessions that we CAN do this
and during the practice sessions, integrating the experience into all of ourselves – we have our bodies, minds, muscles and nerves working together to take to the stage, whatever form it may be,
and to put ourselves on the line,
and speak;
speak confidently, fluently and effectively.
I want to introduce you to this particular type of practice that will work to overcome the blocks and replace them,
and I want to give you some tips that you can implement on your own
on this type of practice.
1. This type of practice is not about perfection
Any practice that happens with me as coach, mentor, trainer recognises that this is not about perfection, perfection in fluency, perfection in gesture, or structure. (unless you are entering a competition or some situation where that perfection is integral to your success.) It is not about one system fits all.
There is none.
What matters is
your own style
your own message
your own authenticity
your own brand
and most assuredly your own rebel yell!
This is presented with a certain degree of wry humour – we’re not all rebels, nor do we all yell – it’s the thing we are most passionate about.
All anyone needs to know is that you care, that you are credible.
And practice allows you to be confident in being real and how to present the real you confidently and effectively.
And it is really hard for me, as a coach, as a business that sells help and support with public speaking, to do things this way. The lure of a simple formula that people think they can implement and suddenly everything is easier,
is tantalising and so much easier to sell, but I cannot, any more Any support I give has to be to you and your style, your needs.
I feel compelled to type [End of rant] here. I guess that was my rebel yell!
Tip 2. Practise, or notice, the confident feeling when you speak in everyday situations – leaving a phone message, asking directions, helping someone else with directions or explanation in an everyday setting. Maybe you already do it confidently. Notice what that feeling is like and take it with you.
Tip 3. Practise impromptu speaking at home. Give yourself a topic; or have a first run-through of your ideas for the next speech you need to give. Straight off, with no previous thought, just fill in the time needed. Record it, if possible, and you can build a speech from that, if necessary. But if all you do is create a speech for this practice occasion only, it will give you a feel for expressing your own self, your own ideas, your own message. Own that fact – you did it. Then own the improvements you might be able to make and what will take you towards those improvements. You are giving yourself feedback!
Tip 4. Practise particular skills that you find challenging like speaking with someone while holding eye contact – or not holding eye contact. You can explain to friends that that is what you are doing. No friends? Really? OK practice on the dog or cat at home.
… or put this character on your computer screen and talk to him!
Tip 5 What you are doing is embedding all of this into muscle memory – into your brain and muscles and nerves, in just the same way that athletes embed the body movements they need for success. Being aware of that makes it a bit more bearable, rather than freaky or too confronting, or maybe even boring.
Tip 6. And on the same note, one of the main reasons that we avoid public speaking and/or especially public speaking practice is that it makes us feel
uncomfortable,
fearing the unknown, uncontrollable, not to mention being judged. And strangely enough,
what you are practising is getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
When suddenly it is time to speak, your automatic response is “No! Stay safe!” a natural, survival urge, of course. But what needs to kick in, then, is the already practised, muscle memory embedded techniques you trained for in practice. What to do with the discomfort and move on to confident, effective speaking
If you would like to learn more about practice and confident, effective speaking
to be notified about the next intake for Pivotal Foundations of Public Speaking.
This is for beginners to build, and for speakers with experience to fine-tune, their skills, confidence and fluent delivery techniques in a safe, learning environment with supportive feedback.
